Sunday School Wisdom: Be Careful Little Mouth...

So, its been awhile...

I noticed this past month that I was struggling with how to use my words. Not with how to put sentences together, though that does happen sometimes and is hilarious. I have been struggling with using my words to edify and build up the greater body of Christ.

When I was in jr. high and early high school I had a lot of trouble controlling my temper. Not just would I lose control of my words, though that did happen often. Nor was it a matter of resorting to physical force, though that also happened. I would lose control of me even to the deepest part of my thoughts. I would fixate, and be unable to focus on anything but my anger. This is not a problem unique to me, I have known and continue to meet people who have gone through or are experiencing similar things. I tell you this simply so you understand that there are times when this seed of anger deep in me tries to sprout into a full blown plant and take over my heart, take over me. 

I believe some strong things about human existence, its relation to God, how God views humanity and what God expects of humanity's interactions with...well itself. To be simple, my theology requires that I conform to a non-violent lifestyle. Whatever that means, and don't ask me too many questions because I'm still trying to figure this stuff out, probably will be my whole life.

I believe that the New Testament has very clear calls for those who follow Christ to pursue non-violence in every aspect of their lives (look for a future post on this). There is more to my understanding than just saying Romans 13 doesn't justify Christian participation in the military. I'm not just a pacifist! There is more to my understanding than just a Matthew 5 "expose their evil" reasoning. I'm not just pro-peaceful-aggression! I have to control every part of my life, all the way down to my thoughts. I take them captive, and I beat myself into submission! (Rather violent language to describe a life of "non".) 

When I tell you then, that I was angry these past few weeks, you and I understand why that might be a problem. It was almost like I had been transported back in time. It wasn't just me becoming physically violent. That happens, its the hardest to hide, but it is the easiest to control. (I've been practicing control most of my life.) It wasn't just angry thoughts. Those happen, they are the hardest to control, but the easiest to hide. (I've been practicing hiding them most of my life.)

I noticed this past month that my words were getting the better of me. My words were exposing the anger in my thoughts. My thoughts were exposing the anger in my heart. And so it goes. It got bad. There were times I would read something on social media or hear something in conversation and lose it. I would be unable to function or think about anything else for days! I believe in most of those cases I was aware enough to keep myself from responding, or at least tone my responses down, A LOT. (There were plenty of comments typed out on Facebook that only needed to be set free by a little tap on the "enter" key that would probably have ruined someone's day.) This morning I woke up with that ridiculous Sunday School song in my head, "Oh, be careful little mouth what you say..." 

So, its been awhile...